Sorry Mike, this is a long one

Alright, everyone! Here is the first half of the post I’ve been promising! This is the beginning of the description of the 35-hour span I spent awake. It begins when I woke up on the morning that I left for Germany:

I got up at 4:00am and finished up my packing. We left pretty much on time at 6:20ish, and drove to the airport. When we got there, I had no idea how to use the express check-in thingy that Air Canada has, but thought, “That’s fine, I’ll just wait in this long line up and go to a real person to check me in.” It turns out that Air Canada has this wonderful system where they you have to “Express Check-in” and then also go talk to a person. So, I get to the front of the line and the guy is all like, “Please scan your boarding pass,” and I’m like, “What the hell are you talking about?” I felt like that moron who holds up long lines, because that’s what I was. The flight was okay, I had an aisle seat next to some younger people who slept the whole way, which suited me just fine, and we watched The March of the Penguins, which was also pretty good. The only kind of exciting thing that happened was as I was heading into the boarding area (my parents could still see me) they were really fussing as my bags were going through the x-ray machine and I’m thinking, “Bari, what did you pack?!” It turns out that they just thought that I had 3 pieces of carry on and were calling over all these supervisors, when I really only had 2 and the woman behind me had 2 and they got too close. No biggie.

I got to Pearson in Toronto and had a 7-hour layover (I think it was that long, I was really messed up with the time change). The man in Edmonton was super nice (even though I’m such a tard) and he made it so that my bags would go directly to Munich, even though when the flight was booked I was told that I would have to collect my bags in T.O. But I was really paranoid about my luggage on this trip so, since I really had nothing better to do, I went and waited with everybody else for my luggage, which, of course, never came. Good, moving on then. I headed outside and caught a bus to take me to a different terminal. I wandered over to the British Airways counter and saw that they weren’t checking in for my flight, yet so I decided to wander around. I realized that I was hungry because it was about 1:00pm Edmonton time and so I decided to go into the lounge area of the Swiss Chalet for some appetizers (because you can’t order off the regular menu, but that was fine with me) and I decided to start taking notes of what I was thinking. The notes lasted until I got onto the plane, and here they are in order:

March of the Penguins would have been better if Ashley were around to play Mystery Science Theatre 3000 with.

Having a beer. Hope I don’t regret it. (Even after I wrote this I had another.) *I really wrote that* (and another) *that too*.

I’m unemployed.

Talking to strangers is easy… when it’s in English!

No matter how nice you are to other people, some of them will still be mean to you. Even if you’ve perfected your I’m-a-cute-little-girl-from-Edmonton voice… which I have.

I hate standing at that exact spot in a line-up where people want to “cut through” ahead of you. I even tried to stand closer to the guy in front of me. We were so close we were practically having intercourse and people still cut through!

Oh, crap. I think I’m drunk. I’m at the Toronto airport, standing in a line and I’m drunk. Damn 3 pints.

I made a new friend today. His name is Morgan and he’s a bartender at the Swiss Chalet at the T.O. airport. We invented a drink (Red Mai-Tai: rum, pineapple juice, lime and grenadine) and he said that he thinks I’m awesome.

The British accent certainly is a funny accent.

I think working in the flight industry would be a good idea because it’s not going away anytime soon. Trust me! You should see how busy Pearson is!

Sorry boys, girls who wear no bra or a poorly supporting one should be locked up.

This man has the last supper on his shirt.




















Ha ha! I’m not the only on in this line up writing in a coilbound notebook. I wonder what she’s writing?















The British Airways Monitor keeps flashing “Please have passorts and tickets ready in” but then doesn’t say anything (like a time). I expected more from the British. That sentence just trails off.

Yup, still a little drunk.

That was a nice nap I just took. I bet I have a big red mark on my forehead from the heel of my hand. Damn. How come guys look so good, even without make-up?

There’s a guy here who looks just like a bearded Kirk, but more Amish. It’s probably the eyelashes.

I wonder if it’s wrong to ride the Jetson’s walkway shouting, “Weeeeee!”?

I think I just stepped in pee.

Wow! Look how fast those people go when they walk on the moviator! I wonder what it would look like if someone ran?

They just announced that they are about to start boarding and that families with small children should line up. I hope that there’s no crying baby on this flight! *Oh yeah, there was a crying baby on the first flight*

I kind of get couples who have matching backpacks, but matching shoes…?

I bought a bottle of water earlier and lost it. So I just bought another one. I was looking for a place to put the new bottle just before I boarded the plane here. How about in this pocket? Nope, doesn’t fit. Here? Mmmm… nope, no good. I have the perfect spot for it!! And when I opened that pocket I found the first bottle of water.

That’s it, that’s my journal of what I was thinking from the time I sat down at Swiss Chalet till I boarded the plane headed to London. I gotta head to bed, but the other half of the trip is on the way, hopefully tomorrow. Laters!